Pageant News Bureau - Miss Universe 2006

Hot cha-cha, Puerto Rico!

July 23, 2006. Southern California was swooning under a heat wave, and the parched hills were alive ... with fire. In Los Angeles, many residents were too busy fending off late-day sunstroke to enjoy the Miss Universe Pageant going on in their midst.

But the show did go on, and it was one to remember. There was more female flesh than ever, but the male-female skybox banter was full of gay references. And though the event was held in the epicenter of American popular culture, the flavor was more salsa than ketchup (not a bad thing).

Millions of people around the world watched as Zuleyka Rivera of Puerto Rico won the crown. (She's Latin! She's American!) Kurara Chibara of Japan, the upstart from the East, was first runner-up. Lauriane Gillieron of Switzerland, the favorite among a worldwide contingent of pageant devotees, was second runner-up, and elegant Lourdes Arevalos of Paraguay was third runner-up. Miss USA, Tara Conner, looking almost too sweet to be real, was the fourth runner-up.

The other five finalists were Alice Panikian of Canada, Kenisha Thom of Trinidad and Tobago, Desiree Duran of Bolivia, Priscila Perales of Mexico and Valeria Dominguez of Colombia.

The 10 remaining semifinalists illustrate the stark geography of the pageant: Denmark's Betina Faurbye, Sweden's Josephine Alhanko, Hungary's Adrienn Benda, Ukraine's Inna Tsymbaliuk, Russia's Anna Litvinova, Thailand's Charm Onwarin Osathanond, India's Neha Kapur, Ethiopia's Dina Fekadu, Brazil's Rafeala Zanella, Argentina's Magali Romitelli. In 2006, being European, Asian or African didn't get you far at Miss Universe. It was the evening of the Americas.

Ms. Chibara was an exception, getting plenty of exposure with her sexy Samurai national costume and inspiring a string of sword jokes from "Queer Eye" veteran Carson Kressley. But she didn't win.

But what was so weird? If you have to ask ...

The Miss Universe Pageant was born in California (at Long Beach) in 1952. But California was very different then, and so was the pageant world. The Los Angeles area was one of the most politically conservative in the United States, and Gidget was dating a crew-cut boy from the Midwest. Beauty queens didn't show their navels even to each other.

Today, Gidget is a liberal vegetarian and is dating Juan, who just moved to town from Oaxaca. And pageant girls wear less onstage than they beauty queens used to wear on their wedding nights. Things have changed, and maybe for the better. But given the history, it still seems weird.

Don't get us wrong. The "Cha-Cha" singer was much better than the dreadful boy bands that popped up in the pageants of the 1990s. But did the L.A. crowd have to cheer harder for Miss Mexico than for Miss USA? (Or maybe that was just Gidget and Juan.)

The bad stuff

This year, PNB offered a forum for fans to write their own "sidebars" about Miss Universe. The responses were disappointing, adding to the weirdness.

Much of it, surprisingly, was in verse form, and most simply did not seem worth printing. This sample will show what we mean:

Puerto Rico won it 'cause she had the roundest butt;
Japan lived by the sword but didn't make the final cut.

Feedback

The choice of Lia Andrea Ramos of the Philippines to be Miss Photogenic was made by the public, but the reaction of the public was surprisingly mixed. Some fans complained, at least to us, that Ms. Ramos looks like a man. We don't see it. Is this a joke? Sour grapes?

The skin game

Although Erin McNaught of Australia didn't make the semifinals, the disclosure that she had posed topless was a publicity windfall for Miss Universe this year. The pageant set a precedent by shrugging off the incident, meaning old taboos are falling. Ms.McNaught followed in the footsteps of another Australian, Miss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins, who once lost her skirt in a wardrobe malfunction seen 'round the world.

July 23, 2006, Los Angeles