We published Pamela Lamont's recent column on JonBenet Ramsey with some reluctance. Our editor considered it a bit strong, and he forecast a furious response. Fortunately, he was wrong. Our readers have been courteous and thoughtful in expressing their opinions. Clearly, the image of pageant people as intemperate and eccentric is erroneous (most of the time). Here are some comments: (From a longtime publisher of pageant news) This is the FIRST Lamont article I even partially agree with about JonBenet. The rest were a waste of time and totally written out of lack of knowledge, I believe.
(From a prominent pageant director) For the first time since reading your comments, I must totally agree with you. I share your sentiments about JonBenet Ramsey entirely. As a pageant director for over 20 years, I detest children's pageants as well. I find them to be events where mothers are trying to live vicariously through their daughters. Pageant competition is not for the faint-hearted. I strongly suggest to anyone within earshot that pageants should be for those who are old enough to know what they are getting into, and old enough to accept defeat graciously, should that occur. Good writing!
(From a pageant competitor who is also a pageant mother) It has been far too long for America to keep bringing up this tragic incident. I know when I state that OUR HEARTS ARE RIPPED OUT every time this occurrence is brought up. I speak for all the mothers and fathers in America. I myself have a daughter, and I am proud she has the opportunity to participate in the pageantry industry, Yes, I must say there have been times I wish my daughter did not participate in one particular pageant, but as I've taught her, and I truly believe, you must move on. On that note, America MUST move on and let JonBenet rest in peace with God's angels. Yes, I NEVER permitted my daughter to wear so much makeup, but as any parent knows, it is up to the individual, it has NOTHING to do with the pageant, dance recital, school play, photo shoot, etc. Please, America, look deep into your hearts, take all the energy you are spending on GOSSIP and put that energy into PRAYERS. Please pray for a little girl whose life has ended much too early. Ask God to place her in one of his angels' wings and have that angel hold her while keeping her warm and safe. Pray for the family left behind, missing her each day, and pray for those who have so much bitterness in their hearts, causing them to bring up such a sad and tragic incident.
If looks could killLittle girls are murdered every day (not to mention little boys). Many of these girls have lived with such constant cruelty, and in such sickening deprivation, that the final act of homicide may come as a relief. In death, many are discarded like candy wrappers, and just as quickly forgotten. Why, then, does the collective heart of America continue to bleed for JonBenet Ramsey, a well-fed, well-coiffed girl who spent the last day of her life unwrapping presents? What makes her slaying so outrageous that the usually tolerant masses cry out for revenge? Why is she at the center of a morbid, maudlin cult? There was nothing special about the means of her death. It was all too brutally ordinary. And as far as one can determine from the videotapes, there was nothing special about JonBenet herself. I am as tenderly disposed toward children as anyone, but JonBenet seems to have been only slightly prettier than the average, and certainly no more talented. Was she lovable? No doubt she was, but all little girls are lovable (some of the time). In a sense, it was JonBenet's pageant career that ensured her newsstand immortality. But pageants never made her a celebrity in life. "Kiddie" pageants never made anyone famous. She was just another tiny blonde overshadowed by her pressboard trophies, preening on a succession of dusty stages and listening to relatives applaud. Of course, the real reason that JonBenet is remembered today is her makeup. She wore too much of it at least once, and a camera was on hand to record the excess. Such is the pettiness of the popular imagination. The facts of her life and death are not so important as one distasteful but possibly harmless image. It's not the crime, but the cosmetics. The crime, however, is the only thing that ought to matter, and it ought to be the focus of any anger that you or I feel about the gruesome fate of JonBenet Ramsey. The obsessive public vilification of the Ramsey family -- based mostly on questions of poor taste, not wickedness -- are grotesquely inappropriate. In matters of taste, there is much that I could criticize about the Ramseys. I am no admirer of successful men who divorce in mid-life and then wed younger women. I am put off by beauty queens who become trophy wives and give their children tacky, pseudo-French names such as JonBenet. I detest children's beauty pageants, not because they are "too sexy" but because they are boring. I neither need nor use much makeup, and if I had a daughter, I would spare the rouge. But however gauche I may find certain people, I would never judge their inner character based on their social lapses. The Ramseys may be warm and righteous people at heart. If they were found to be culpable in their daughter's death, I would condemn them. But they remain innocent before the law, and the only thing certain is that they have lost a child. Surely they can be forgiven the heavy-handed use of face powder. Pamela A. Lamont
NOTE: Guest columnist Pamela A. Lamont expresses her own opinions. They are not necessarily shared by the board or any staffers of the Pageant News Bureau. Thoughts on a pageant moviePamela Lamont's unfavorable review of "Drop Dead Gorgeous" got relatively few responses, but they were interesting in themselves. We are printing the ones that are printable. We were surprised that so many self-proclaimed pageant fans really liked this movie. And we were surprised that so many readers referred to it as "DDG."
(From a woman with a thorough knowledge of both pageantry and the mass media.) I had read the reviews, including Pamela's, perused the movie's Web site and listened to numerous friends' and acquaintances' opinions. . . . Then I actually plunked down $7.25 to see the movie. I laughed until I cried. In chatroom and e-mail jargon, I LOL'd and ROTFLMAO shamelessly. So did my two adult daughters, a woman friend and her college student daughter who was a former Junior Miss. All of us serve on our local and state Junior Miss Scholarship Program Committee. I've come to the conclusion that those involved in the realm of pageantry who are offended by this movie give far more importance to pageants as some exalted state of being. Pageant titleholders don't end world hunger or bring peace to warring nations. Pageants are entertainment and provide some opportunities for young women from small towns and large cities across the country. That doesn't make them bad, but it also doesn't make them the be-all and end-all of womanhood, either. This movie makes no lofty pretense of being anything more than a romp through the stereotypes. I've been involved in all realms of pageantry in all major systems. I've lived in big cities and small towns, even for a time in North Dakota, which is about as close to Minnesota as you can get. I've seen versions of every single character in this movie in my time. So I say to Ms. Lamont . . . lighten up. It ain't rocket science, it's a movie. If we can't laugh at ourselves every now and then, we're no better than some of those caricatures in what will surely become the guilty little pleasure of a movie for the summer of 1999. K.T.
(From someone who questions Ms. Lamont's femininity and even implies that Ms. Lamont likes scholarship pageants. That's a bit weird, but what the heck . . .) Dear Editor, Since Ms./Mr. Pam cares not a whit about what I think of her/his review of DDG, I shall express, without a care in the world, that I think she's/he's elevated pageants to the status of moon landings, Camp David Accords and the conflict in Northern Ireland. We absolutely adored the film, laughing from the first scene to the last. Four of us attended, and four more varied viewers would be hard to find: a dreaded pageant mother (moi), a pageant father with an aversion to pageant$ (note dollar sign), a pageant boyfriend who supports and adores his pageant girfriend, and the Teen pageant girl herself. We recognized 99% of the characters as people we've come to know (and sometimes love) over the last few years. Of course it was an exaggeration, but there's more than enough truth in the spoof. Perhaps that is what bothers Ms./Mr. Pam . . . often, the truth hurts. We simply adored the film and have laughed about it for several days. When you are still quoting lines from a movie you saw last week, an impression has been made. Now, if Ms./Mr. Pam has been heavily involved in the type of pageants now classified as "scholarship programs," I can perhaps understand her/his squirming in her/his velveteen movie seat. Our involvement has been, and will continue to be, with honest old-fashioned BEAUTY pageants, and DDG cleverly mocked the other kind . . . you know, Ms./Mr. Pam, the ones which used to be beauty pageants but now are 3 hours of mediocre talent shows? Unfortunately, since the pageant girl in this group won a major title, she had to judge several local "scholarship programs" in our little part of the Midwest. We're not Minnesota, but not too far removed as those of you on the Left or Right Coasts may be. Ms./Mr. Pam, we have been to the "scholarship" pageant in DDG too many times to count. We've seen lip synching (not in a wheelchair, however), signing to vocal and tap numbers, Christ brought into every onstage reply, and our personal favorite, a display of postcards collected from around the world on a black velvet easel. Ms./Mr. Pam, if we can laugh at the real pageants we've had to endure and still somehow manage to enjoy the world of pageantry, why can't you laugh at a movie which spoofs the very flaws that make pageantry so bizarre, so outrageous, and so darned much fun? It ain't brain surgery. Sincerely,
A DDG Fan
(From someone in tune with American box office opinion.) Hi! Well, I went to see this movie knowing that it would be making fun of pageants. But, hey, I figured, if we can't laugh at ourselves . . . Besides, I usually adore all of the key players. I had to go alone because I couldn't even get my 9-year-old to go with me (he and his dad watched "Wild Wild West" in another theater). I have to say that about 10 minutes in, I knew it was going to be bad, but I could not imagine how bad! By the end, I had to say that, even putting subject matter aside, this was the WORST movie I have seen in ages. I guess this is what they mean when they say, "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss six bucks good-bye." Except this time I was laughing because even my 9-year-old had better taste in films than me. Marie Esselstein
(From someone who has strong opinions.) I know Pamela's type. They think money and college are everything. But they live off a man, and they don't like common people. I saw the movie, too. It was about Minnesota, not about England. It's not about fox-hunting, it's about real people. And if some women with a lot of insurance on their jewelry don't like that, they can go back where they came from. (I hear the taxes are higher.) Girls have to learn early to fight for what they want, which is the point any fool could see. That's the point of pageants. Does anybody who has ever been in a pageant not known the people that are in DDG? I was in a pageant for teens. Some of the girls were pregnant. They told us other girls. Some of them were walking around in the hall not wearing much more than a bra and panties. And there were men judges on the same floor. Did the best girl win? No, the best girl did NOT win! And that has nothing to do with me. It's just the truth. C.D.
(From someone who is officially infallible -- our boss.) I saw the movie with my daughter, who is a college student and has no interest in pageants. I was unmoved, but she found it very funny. Perhaps I am simply out of touch with current humor. Still, Ms. Lamont's criticism expressed some of the things that I found vaguely disquieting about "Drop Dead Gorgeous," even if some of her conclusions were overdrawn. The violence was troubling. My daughter and I were in a theater filled mostly with teenagers and preteens, and the kids laughed uproariously every time a girl was blown to bits or an adult used profanity. They had plenty on the screen to keep them amused. Gerdeen Dyer
Founding editor of the Pageant News Bureau
PNB asked Pamela Lamont, the scathing critic of pageants, to review "Drop Dead Gorgeous," the new movie spoofing beauty contests. We thought the film might suit her tastes perfectly, but we were surprised. Here are her comments: Creators of Hollywood satire are like American bomber pilots. They prefer easy targets. So it is no oddity that pageants, which virtually invite parody, have been lampooned in numerous movies. (It is difficult to envision a truly serious film about women being judged by the shape of their posteriors.) The latest pageant movie is "Drop Dead Gorgeous," a broadly played comedy, in the form of a mock documentary, about jealousy and murder in a small-town competition. The chief characters are two rival teenage contestants -- one rich, one poor -- and their mothers. Setting such a picture in the real heartland of pageants, suburbia, would have been far more realistic. But the filmmakers make the worst possible use of the setting they chose. This is the hackneyed Hollywood version of a small town. Everyone is ignorant, and the pure of heart are the most ignorant of all. Childish eccentricity is the only liberation to which anyone can inspire. The village idiot, who exposes himself to pageant contestants, is one of the film's most sympathetically depicted characters. The heroine, Amber, played by Kirsten Dunst, is a funeral home employee who paints the faces of corpses as she prepares for her opportunity on the pageant stage. It's a potentially clever touch, but used mostly for tasteless jokes at the expense of the dead. The chamber of pale corpses is revisited whenever the action begins to lag. (Amber enjoys dancing as she works.) There is a single poignant scene in this eerie setting, perhaps the most powerful scene in the movie. But it is passed over quickly, as if it were an embarrassment. Denise Richards has the most satisfying role, as the arrogant Becky, the favorite for the title and the beneficiary of the other contestants' violent misfortunes. We are supposed to despise this girl, but she is the most recognizable human being in the movie. Her motives are deplorable but understandable. And her arrogance gives her the confidence her peers lack. She is one character who never directs any hatred toward herself. This brings me to the main flaw of "Drop Dead Gorgeous," its condescending, pre-feminist attitude toward the female sex. Men come off rather well in this picture. But girls and women are casually killed and maimed for comic effect, and most of the contestants besides Amber and Becky are treated with condescension, as expendable pawns in the plot. Perhaps the second most sympathetic character is a girl who aspires to be as beautiful a woman as her brother, a female impersonator. She finally gives up her quest as hopeless. What are the implications of that? The end of the movie, which comes far too long after the mysteries of the plot have been resolved, consists of the wholesale suffering and humiliation of girls who have not even been presented as individuals. This sort of smug cruelty is unsettling, and it reminds me of nothing so much as the cattiness one finds in pageant circles, where young women often seem distressed even to live on a planet where someone else might be more attractive. Of course, this similarity is no accident. If the pageant world is shallow and hypocritical, the world of popular motion pictures is even more so. Show business is just the pageant world writ large. The essence of hypocrisy is finger-pointing, and it is only appropriate that movies should point a finger at pageants. But the message is impossible to take seriously. It is only the pot calling the kettle plastic. Pamela A. Lamont
In defense of marriage (and pageants)Pamela Lamont's vigorous attack on pageants for married women didn't sit well with many of our readers. But we were surprised at how many respondents, even those who largely disagreed with her, could see "where she was coming from." (Yes, Ms. Lamont, we know you would never use this expression yourself.) Here is what some of our readers have had to say thus far:
'Get a grip'What an interesting way you have of looking at the world! I read with interest your various opinions about pageants for married women, lesbians in pageants, and your own marriage. I can't help but wonder how very unhappy you must be in your own life to find it necessary to spread such venom about. Let me tell you a little about myself so that you understand the basis of the opinions I will share with you. I am 38, separated from my husband, the mother of two teenagers, and have been involved in pageants since the age of 14 as a contestant, judge and director. I have been in the special event production business for over a decade, own an international project development firm, and generally do not take the time to address this type of "trash sensationalism." However, for you, I will make an exception! In my twenty plus years of participation, I have competed in, judged, directed, or otherwise been involved with virtually every major pageant in the country. While there are a few that undeniably leave much to be desired, the vast majority of pageants are run by exceptional people and offer contestants, regardless of their age or marital status, a tremendous opportunity for personal growth and accomplishment. It is the confidence I gained through participation in pageants that allowed me to successfully open my company at the age of 28. It is the personal growth I experienced that has been the foundation for its continued success. As a judge, I am always awestruck by the intelligence and inner beauty of the women who participate in pageants. They courageously step forward into the limelight and present themselves to the world, identifying their unique talents, sharing the depth of their experiences, and willingly asking for the judges to offer constructive criticism which will be the catalyst for their continued growth. I have yet to meet one who is simply a pretty face and great figure. In fact, I am amazed that, with all these women do, they have time to maintain the exterior at all! When it comes to married women in the pageant world, let me tell you about the 180 plus who have crossed the stage in my pageant in the last four years. In that time, they have contributed a documented 24,000 hours of community service around the state, put together and distributed thanksgiving baskets to 2,700 families in crisis as part of our annual basket brigade, raised funds for and awarded college scholarships to several incredible high school seniors, and celebrated the elderly in each of their respective cities through our Senior Citizens appreciation program. They have made a difference in the World we share. That giving is to be honored and respected, not scoffed at. The pageant has been the incentive for that giving. These women entered this pageant to celebrate a fabulous place they have reached in their lives . . . a place which includes a happy marriage, a family either their own or extended professional achievement, and a drive to do more in a world of vast need. They not only strive for excellence, they have achieved it, each in her own respective way. I am truly sorry that your marriage did not meet with your expectation. I understand the pain of such loss. However, these women are experiencing what you and I are not. The dream does exist and they stand as living proof that it does. I am proud to be able to offer them an opportunity to celebrate the attainment of this dream! As for your opinions on lesbian involvement in the pageant world . . . get a grip, would you? I have faced this challenge as a pageant director. I had a winner in a well-established pageant for young women, who was a lesbian. She talked to me about it and we faced the challenges it provided. I say today what I said then " Do you select a football player by his sexual preference or his skill as an athlete? This is a sport . . . a competitive arena. Sexual preference is not a category of competition. Our queens are selected as a result of their performance in competition. I would not ask any contestant who she sleeps with and would not expect her to comment on her sexual activity or preference, regardless of the gender of her lover." Beyond that, it is not my place to judge her choices. I am her pageant director, not her God. I wish you happiness to replace the bitterness you offer. Shonnie Bray
State Director, Mrs. Texas International Pageant
'A little sad'Having read you commentary concerning Mrs. Pageants, I felt your harshness was intended to get a "rise" from the people involved in these events. After continuing on in your article, however, I began to feel a little sad at the realization that Mrs. Pageants were the only target available to you to vent the frustration of your owne failed marriage. I must address the several issues that your article misrepresented about Mrs. Pageants. First and foremost, the Mrs. International System recognizes women for their community service and commitment to family. Each local contestant carries out a platform throughout her reign. In South Carolina, these phenomenal women have started a "Feel Better Bear Program," placing stuffed animals in police cars for traumatized children. A Hotline for Teens at Risk started by one contestant gives advice to teens in danger of running away, drug use, etc. I could go on. These are real women with real lives who still find the time to volunteer. Many pageants in the Mrs. International System are affiliated with a charity and donate a portion of the proceeds to that charity, as well as hold a silent auction. At the national level, there is a silent auction for a scholarship for a deserving underpriviledged rising senior each year. Also, it is evident that you have not attended a Mrs. International Pageant. Husbands don't "smile at their wives from the balcony." They are involved and actually place the crown on their wife's head at the end of the pageant. They are a team and will take on the new responsibility of the title together. I can only wonder if your opinion might change if you ever find happiness in a marriage again, and if that road ever opens for you, I pray that it does. Renee' Winn
Director, Mrs. South Carolina International
"Till death do us part"As a Mrs. contestant and a director for a pageant with a Mrs. category, I find that I do not completely agree with Pamela. I do see some of these same aspects in pageants. As a contestant, I found that many of the women I competed with were indeed only barely married (some as in one day), while others had been married for more than 25 years. Many were on their second and third marriages, and I as a married woman found that offensive. I also found that in the swimsuit competition, some pageants wanted a more mature woman with a number of children to wear and look the same in a swimsuit as a 20-year-old. That is offensive. Yes, pageants can separate the family, but only if your family isn't your No. 1 priority. Women who do not take their husbands in the true meaning of the word (remaining faithful) are not going to stay married. Yes, we all look. The rule is, you may look but do not lust. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that should be sacred. The vow is "till death us do part," not "till divorce us do part." When I competed at nationals, my husband and children went with me. We shared the same room and were able to spend some time together. I started our Mrs. pageant with this in mind. Our pageant looks for the true beauty from within. We have an athletic wear competition so women can show what they use to keep them fit. Some women with children have come as swimmers, but usually they prefer more flattering things. We have had winners married for more than 30 years and for as little as five years. They have ranged from late 20s to late 50s. Runner-ups have been in their 60s. Our judges look at the whole picture. They ask about the family unit and how to keep it together. We do not ask the wife to come without the husband and children. We invite them to attend together. The husband and children are invited to come on the dinner cruise and attend meals with us. We say the pageant is a perfect time for family (such as grandparents) to get some babysitting in. So at the Mrs. National pageant we are trying to promote the married woman, not the numerous-times-married woman.
Connie
National America Pageant
Not at OUR pageantObviously, Ms. Lamont has not had any experience with the Mrs. International system. The institution of marriage and family values are extremely important to the national directors as well as state directors. As far as the contestants being "barely beyond the college years," she needs to meet Jeanie Wurtele, our current reigning Mrs. International, a 54-year-old grandmother! She also states that "their best attributes are their bodies, not their minds." I hate to burst your bubble, Ms. Lamont, but 50 percent of the score in this system is the interview. A great body and no brains surely won't cut it in a pageant where the interview is half of the score. The tone of Ms. Lamont's article suggests that she is simply bitter over her own failed marriage. That, combined with her dislike of pageants, makes for a very sad read. How pitiful that she just doesn't understand and can't leave those of us who do alone. My husband is extremely happy for my pageant accomplishments and the pleasure that competition and pageant directing bring to me, just as I am thrilled for him when he has a fun and successful race on his mountain bike. He now enjoys judging pageants, and I have my fair share of scars from my own mountain bike spills. We are best friends who enjoy seeing each other pursue our goals and take pleasure in sharing our interests with each other. Some of the happiest married couples we know are ones we have met through the pageant industry, particularly the "Mrs." pageants. Bitsy Potter
State Director of Mrs. Louisiana International and Mrs. Mississippi International, formerly Mrs. Louisiana International 1994 and frequent "Ms." pageant contestant
Don't paint with a broad brushIn response to Pamela Lamont's attack on married women's pageants, I agree and disagree on her points about the hypocrisy of these contests. Yes, there are pageants out there that are . . . [for] women afraid of losing their youth. Yet there are also those that really do celebrate married women, and give married women a chance to do something besides being someone's wife or mother. The advent of "Mrs." pageants has given many married women a chance to strive for more than being weekend soccer moms. In many instances, these pageants are more of a blood sport than just friendly competition. However, to say that all married women's pageants are crass is unfair. I think that deep down, all people want recognition for their accomplishments and the activities they are involved in. I feel that it is the responsibility of the contestants to show their best sides and to prove that married women are just as beautiful and fulfilled as single or divorced women. To make a judgement on married women who enter these pageants is unfair. Yet, like all pageants, these are . . . for profit, and we must treat them as we do all such things. "Buyer beware." Some married women's pageants are more cutthroat and shallow than others. Yet, in the great spirit of the United States, we should all have the freedom to pursue our dreams no matter how glitter-filled they may be. Kimberley Yang
Ph.D. candidate at Columbia University, pageant contestant and enthusiast
And on another subject (Ms. Lamont's comments on platforms)Taking this a step further, I wonder what would be the reaction of some Miss USA state directors if they had an applicant in a wheelchair . . . or say some Miss America state preliminaries . . . that would really shake things up, especially [for] Miss USA, which after the recent debacle, needs a good shaking! Maryanne Kehoe
Atlanta, Georgia
Wives on the looseThe "trophy wife" is one of the more derided figures in popular culture, but this seems to be the role to which more and more women aspire. How else to explain the proliferation of beauty contests for married women? Taking a husband used to spell the end of a woman's pageant career. (That was one of the truly positive aspects of marriage.) Now, however, a wedding is simply a gaudy transition into a new category of pageant competition. I have attended a number of these "Mrs." competitions, and I have found very little that smacks of traditional marriage about them. The role of a wife, as it was understood for generations, meant bearing children, managing the household and keeping the family name above reproach. A successful wife was one who watched her servants carefully and her husband even more carefully. One does not hear about hearth and home, or children, from married pageant contestants. Many are barely beyond the college years, and their best attributes are their bodies, not their minds. They rhapsodize about glamorous careers and undying romances. They declare, from their paltry experience, that marriage gets "sexier" with time. They seem unaware that most women in the audience are old enough to recognize these dreams as fraudulent. But why indeed should I be troubled? Marriage and pageantry are both steeped in hypocrisy, and the combination of these two institutions has a certain gamy appropriateness. Alas, I must admit that I retain an instinctive reverence for marriage, as unsatisfying as I have found it personally. Men and women, after all, do pledge to be roped together for better or worse. It's an admission of failure when the rope is cut. And pageants are hardly good for marriages. Divorce is common among the perfect "Mrs." set, right up to the national level. "When women are away from home, something happens," a formerly married beauty queen once told me. Yes, dear, blame it on the responsibilities of wearing the crown. I once overheard this very woman chatting with an old rival from a Mrs. pageant. "I've not married anymore," she said without any trace of embarrassment. "Neither am I," said the other woman cheerfully. Perhaps that cheerfulness is the saving grace of the lawfully wedded beauty queens. Where there is divorce, there is also remarriage. In a couple of years, the old queen will be back to seek a new crown. She will make the same speech about love being forever, about marriage being for keeps, and the same warmth will be in her voice. But a different man will be smiling back at her from the balcony. Pamela A. Lamont
Pamela A. Lamont is a guest columnist, but her views on pageants have gained widespread attention in the media. We at PNB invite readers, especially married beauty queens and directors of pageants for married women, to share their thoughts with us about Ms. Lamont's comments. Do you believe the people she describes are typical of married women in pageantry? We would be interested in publishing features on married queens whose stories illuminate this issue.
Pageant poppycockSeveral girls (and tediously girlish women) have asked me for advice about succeeding in pageants and show business. I have no advice to give them. Most are doomed to fail no matter what strategies they pursue, and the world of entertainment will be none the worse without them. However, out of my customary compassion, I have decided to warn readers about the misinformation they will hear from others. Specifically, I am revealing the biggest lie I have heard in this business, and the worst piece of advice. Those who prefer to be deluded can stop reading now. The biggest lie -- "Women who betray others, use falsehood and flattery, pose nude and sleep with their benefactors are doomed to obscurity. Only 'good girls' become beauty queens and movie stars." No claim could be more absurd, but this one continues to be repeated and believed. It is such a respectable falsehood that a girl can be branded "bad" simply for doubting it. In pageant circles, it is treated as gospel. The truth is that schemers, hypocrites and outright tramps often win crowns and become famous entertainers. They generally have an advantage over women of conscience. Certainly, some frightfully righteous people have reached stardom, and thousands of ambitious young pleasure providers have risen no higher than the gutter. But being naughty can be profitable. Lest I be hounded by the League of Decency, I want to make clear that I am not encouraging anyone's daughter to abandon her morals. Honesty, modesty and chastity are admirable virtues. But these virtues are their own reward, not guarantees of worldly success. Nothing is more pathetic than a girl who believes that living a decent life is easy, that the world will fall into her well-behaved lap. Such girls become cynical, even sinful women. Pamela A. Lamont
Out of the mouths of hypocritesThe worst advice to pageant people -- "Never cooperate with anyone in the media who will not promise to say good things about you." If you consulted only those doctors who promised that you would live forever, you would be placing your health in the hands of quacks. The same reality applies here. The legitimate media never make promises of favorable coverage. People who make such promises, usually for a fee, are the quacks of the journalistic world. Anything they say about you will be devoid of credibility. Let me express this in simpler terms: If you wall yourself off from the legitimate media, you make yourself dependent on those who are not so legitimate. Of course, those who are not legitimate will be the first to advise you to do so. Many people in the pageant business have good reason to fear objective news coverage. They do not want to be recognized as the scoundrels they are. Others, however, are decent people who are secretly ashamed of the shallow culture in which they toil. They cannot imagine an objective article that would truly take beauty contests seriously. Dealing with the press, by the way, is not difficult for those who have the courage. Gerdeen Dyer of the Pageant News Bureau wrote an article on the subject years ago, and it continues to be accessible on the Internet. (The article was written before Dyer's recent turn toward pro-pageant sentimentality, which I find incomprehensible.) Now you have read the truth, my dears. Girl Scouts will be offended at my frankness, and perhaps they will stop trying to peddle sweets at my door. The "bad girls" of the pageant world will warn their rivals never to be interviewed by the legitimate media, and then rush to be interviewed themselves. Bad girls, bless them, are fast learners. I close with a final warning. There is much more misinformation in the pageant world, more than I could uncover in a thousand columns. It is even more common than silicone. Pamela A. Lamont Gerdeen Dyer's article, referred to in this column, can be found at www.beautypageants.com/marketplace/spotlight1.html
Tear down the platforms Diabetes is the disease of the year at Miss America. Nicole Johnson has it, and sometimes she shows off the insulin pump that she wears throughout the day. Last year, the disease was AIDS. Kate Shindle didn't have it, but she knew people who did, and she missed few opportunities to tell teenagers how to avoid it. Of course, neither of these women would ever utter the phrase "disease of the year." They would speak of platforms. Everyone who competes in the sprawling Miss America system must have a platform, a cause that she promotes. And the causes are so worthy: cozy cottages for the homeless, education for the illiterate, compensation for crime victims, good health for all. "Awareness" is a favorite word in the names of platforms. Contestants want to make the public aware that child abuse is harmful, that sick people are dying, that uneducated people rarely become corporate chairmen. We need to know these things. This is not confined to Miss America. Women in every sort of beauty contest are pitching noble causes relentlessly. To say that a woman "has a good platform" is higher flattery than a compliment about her muscle tone. Platform envy is rampant. The whole trend is sad. The concept of pick-a-crusade is a distortion of the genuine civic spirit. To judge women on how they express their generous impulses is a way of taming and exploiting those impulses. It encourages women not to follow their hearts but to spend their energies on safe and socially proper causes. "But you can't be against charities," growled a reporter at the Pageant News Bureau. And of course, that's the point. Pageants try to identify themselves with charities because they want to be immune to criticism. Platforms are a vaccination against ridicule.
I support medical progress, including finding cures for AIDS and diabetes. I support most causes that I hear being gushed about on pageant stages. But I also support other causes -- nuclear arms control, anti-pollution laws, an end to the rape of the Earth's forests and oceans. And these will never be advocated by any successful beauty queen. They are too "controversial" for the masses. A platform succeeds not because it is right, but because it plays. If there were no platforms, Kate Shindle wouild still care about AIDS, and Nicole Johnson would most certainly still care about diabetes. Both would still be free to lobby anyone who would listen. But we would be spared a thousand insincere sermons from women who don't yet have strong feelings about changing the world. These women will sooner or later find the causes that truly matter to them. They should be allowed to find them on their own. Pamela A. Lamont
The "L" wordDear readers, What was the real reason Vanessa Williams was pushed off the Miss America throne? The official myth is that she was punished for appearing nude in a "men's magazine." This euphemistic dodge has been repeated so often that it has come to be accepted by pageant fanatics and uninquisitive journalists. But it ought not to be mistaken for truth If Ms. Williams had allowed herself to be photographed naked in a marble bathtub, or on the lap of some popular politician, her failure of discretion might have gone unpunished. But the circumstances were wholly different. She was with another woman, in poses that suggested something more than sisterly affection. The word "lesbian" was not mentioned by pageant officials during the Williams scandal, and I saw one beauty queen actually choke on the word during a television interview. Nevertheless, the perception of lesbianism did Ms. Williams far more damage than the revelation that she has a body under her clothes. Even though she is actually heterosexual (and appeared rather bored in the naughty photos), the fact that she did not shrink in horror from an amorous female embrace was enough to taint her for millions of fans. Lesbianism is one of the last taboos in the business. In an industry that would barely exist without the involvement of gay men, the idea that a beauty queen might desire another woman is still unmentionable. I once raised the issue with a local pageant director, asking her how the world would react if a Miss America were to declare herself a lesbian. This woman's answer was emphatic: "It wouldn't happen." Perhaps you are naive enough to believe there are no lesbians in beauty pageants. I can attest that they exist. I have known a very few, and surely I have met others and did not guess their inclinations. (My own tastes, being rather conventional, would not bring me into their circles.) Two fresh-faced young women whom I now know to be a couple once competed against each other in a pageant that I attended. I recently was shown an old videotape of the two embracing at contest's end. They appear to be no more than tearful friends. My dear readers, the trend in society is toward greater sexual latitude. This may be deplorable or laudable, depending on your beliefs, but unless the trend is reversed, it will sooner or later reach even the anachronistic world of beauty queens. Someday, someone will "come out" onstage, and she will not have any embarrassing photographs in her closet. Pageant officials, fans and participants will have to decide whether this human variation is acceptable in their insular domain of piety and patriotism. The business will have to change or it will perish. Neither prospect is wholly unattractive. My more venomous readers are no doubt asking themselves "Where did she see that dirty magazine?" I will spare them the effort of inquiry. It was shown to me in 1984 by the man who was then my husband. I am certain that he has it still, wherever he may be. It is a precious reminder of the real woman he lost. But I doubt that he can bear to look at it. Pamela A. Lamont
Dear Readers, My comments about "pageant amnesia" (a headline writer's usage, not my own) have prompted a number of replies. Some were mere rubbish, but a few merit publication, if only to show the thought processes of the typical pageant fan. A few were wise enough to agree with me. At my request, to spare anyone humiliation, names have been omitted and countless errors of grammar and spelling have been corrected. I handed over the task of "cleanup" to the staff members of the Pageant News Bureau, although their appalling sloppiness in reporting the recent Miss Teen USA Pageant made me do so only with reluctance. A few readers resorted to name-calling, describing me as "bitchy" and using mutilated versions of my name, such as "Pam," "Pammie" and "Pamie." If their wretched lives are improved by such displays of juvenile discourtesy, I can only wish them well. It is better they stay in their tiny rooms and send insults to me rather than venture outside and inflict themselves on their neighbors. I will not deign to address individual questions raised in these comments, or try to correct all the errors contained therein. My time is better spent in more serious pursuits. Pamela A. Lamont
Dear Pamela, Initially I disagreed with your comments about pageant amnesia, but after giving it some thought, I realize that except for maybe Phyllis George and Lee Meriwether, pageant winners do seem to want to distance themselves from that part of their lives. It became apparent when I noted the number of former pageant winners on daytime soap operas. I can name about five. . . . I sometime read articles in Soap Opera Digest about certain actresses, and they never mention their pageant participation. All in all, you make an excellent point. Dear Pamela, Be nice . . . Women can do anything they want to. That is what the so-called women's movement is all about. Dear Pamela, Halle Berry recently accepted an award from the Miss USA Pageant, for outstanding achievement. She accepted this honor. Many, many young women use pageantry as a steppingstone to a career in show biz. After all, that is what pageants are - show biz! Who really cares what you think anyway? Dear Pamela, Have you ever heard of Delta Burke, Anita Bryant, Lee Meriwether, and I could go on and on. All take great pride in the fact that they were titleholders. I hasten to differ with you. Sophia Loren has on numerous occasions spoken about her participation in the Miss Italy Pageant, in many articles I have seen over the years. You won't have Vanessa Williams talking about it much, but then again had it not been for her Miss America stop, she would not have reached the eyes and ears of an American public so readily. Let's face it, a break is a break. It is up to the individual to credit it if they want to. Many of today's television stars are former pageant contestants. Dear Pamela, I am 34 years of age and am a stay-at-home mother of two beautiful girls. I have been involved in pageants since I was about 12 and have not experienced anything really negative. I really believe that if you go into it with a personal goal and for reasons known to yourself without focusing on the outcome, you are guaranteed to come out a winner. (That doesn't mean the crown, it means in your soul.) Have you ever participated in a pageant? Have you ever really talked to a group of ladies to find out why they are in pageants? You'll find different reasons from everyone. And who has the right to tell them that they are right or wrong as long as they are realistic about their purpose? There are always those who want to win, win, win and sometimes do, and when they don't their TRUE character shows, but that is one in a thousand. Dear Editor, Recently I read your guest columnist's latest article, and though I am honestly VERY pro-pageant (being in my third year of serious competition, with several local titles), I feel compelled to inform some of our readers why she might feel so strongly this way. Last month, after placing at a well-established pageant, I was invited by a director of a local [national bikini pageant] preliminary to compete a few weeks later at their pageant. Since swimwear is always the most uncomfortable category for me, I decided I would enter in order to gain more confidence in this area and to try a new system. I returned to their last open competition, bringing my best bikini and a hopeful attitude. Well, the fact it was in a bar didn't daunt me at all, though I'll admit, it can be very intimidating to a first-timer. What upset me was the way in which all of us were treated. Our "dressing room" for changing two outfits was a dirty upstairs stockroom with sticky floors, piled together in about a 10-foot-square area. Once we came downstairs and came onstage to compete, we were treated to about 200 hooting and hollering drunk guys (really quite normal according to the other gals) who were outright booing some girls and treating the rest of us to some creative anatomy comments. We were warned not to step too close as no one seemed to be keeping the crowd in check. While awaiting the judges' decision, we were herded backstage to a dark, even colder room still slightly in view of the public and forced to wait for almost an hour without water, drinks or any consideration. When the bar manager finally came back, he said we could each have one small soft drink and that was that. (We weren't allowed to leave or send for food.) When I inquired what was taking so long, he remarked, "well, turnout's not as high as hoped and we have to wait until another round of drinks is purchased, because they'll leave once you girls are off." We then waited almost another 15 minutes freezing our keisters off.
Now, I am not upset that I didn't win; I did well and garnered not only some crowd support but a bit more self-confidence in my ability to handle an otherwise embarrassing and intimidating situation. I guarantee you NO swimwear portion will scare me again! But I also know that if this is representative of swimwear pageants, I certainly won't do one again and I would beseech any other self-respecting young woman not to do so, either. I would NEVER allow my daughter to endure that. I couldn't believe my fellow contestants and I were reduced to the "hook" to sell more drinks but then treated so terribly after being informed that we were the main event. Talk about used! I can only ask that if you are a pageant director, please run a respectable event! Otherwise, you are perpetuating the myths that make those outside the industry say that pageants only show that "sex sells." Sadly, those of us who believe in the positive aspects of pageantry will slowly drop off and believe that myth because experience will prove it to be true if this trend continues.
Non-remembrance of queens pastWere you aware that Sophia Loren was once Miss Naples? The chances are that you were not, and the reason is simple She does not talk much about it. She certainly never boasts about it. The fact is, a background in beauty contests is not something a woman of status cares to confess. It's an embarrassment. This fact may seem shocking because it contradicts volumes of pageant industry propaganda, but it is undeniable. When women achieve real celebrity, they distance themselves from the pseudo-celebrity of the pageant world. Even blowsy blondes in the most vulgar era of Hollywood, such as Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield, hid their dimestore crowns once they began to get screen credits. You need only watch your television, dear reader. The next time a surgically augmented, spectacularly untalented young woman receives an "acting" trophy, mark her words carefully. She will describe everything and everybody responsible for her triumph, but she will never sigh a word about the days when she wore a number and was judged by the shape of her posterior. (Those days are behind her.) The starry-eyed will point out that Sharon Stone was in pageants, and that Halle Berry was in pageants. Take comfort in their example if you wish. But Ms. Stone's pageant past was "outed" by tabloid television. She was more willing to do full frontal nudity than to mention the subject herself. And Ms. Berry's efforts to understate her career as a beauty queen are almost comical. She was in the Miss World Pageant, competing at a level where the claws are sharpened hourly, but she treats her pageant days as if they were a fleeting phase of innocent youth.
I would never deny that many young women owe their success in show business to pageant competition. But many more owe their success to being sexually available. Neither is a cause for pride. Pamela A. Lamont
Pageants with the gloves offI have never been a fan of beauty pageants. (The word "fan" comes from "fanatic.") But I understand the pageant business, and I know its secrets. And being as knowledgeable as I am, I have always been appalled at the lack of honest discussion of how the industry works. The Pageant News Bureau styles itself as the truth-telling organ of pageantry. Though it is very informative and has broken much new ground, it remains far too gentle. It has not truly laid bare the vast, corrupt world of beauty contests. I have often told the editor so, in unambiguous terms. Now, to my surprise, the editor has asked me to address this deficiency. He has asked me to become a columnist. Perhaps it is a decision he will regret, but I have never shrunk from a challenge. Within days, I will publish my first column. Its subject should establish my bona fides as a teller of truth. It may in fact cause me to be sacked, but I am willing to accept that risk. I invite questions. Unlike some columnists, I will answer them promptly, privately if necessary, and will avoid no subject. You may begin writing immediately. I do not wish to be addressed as Pam. Pamela A. Lamont
Pamela A. Lamont is an independent columnist whose views do not necessarily reflect those of the Pageant News Bureau. Her remarks are included at this site as part of our effort to encourage free discussion on the Internet and in the pageant industry. Purple glasses image ©1998 PhotoDisc | 
